Saturday, April 30, 2016
Tuesday, April 19, 2016
The Most Powerful 2 letter Word!
How Mastering the Art of Saying this ONE Word Changed MY LIFE!
NO!, No, N-O, nah, nope, mmmm...no, thank you.
It took YEARS for me to learn HOW to say, "No". And I'm not talking about SCREAMING IT, or BLASTING IT, or filling it with di*s$re@sp#ect%fu*l tones, or colorful language $%^&*!!! I mean to finally OWN the feeling I wanted to give voice to for YEARS...."No". Respectfully. Compassionately. Truthfully. Once I owned that feeling I knew the Soulful meaning of EMPOWERMENT.
Being empowered, for me, is breathing humbling power filled with unconditional love into my now.
When you don't feel like doing something you truly do not have to do, it is okay to say, "No". That "something" can simply be a suggestion, that turns into what feels like a "directive" to you because saying no is extremely difficult for you. We can feel a sense of obligation so strongly that it literally is a self-imposed directive rather than someone forcing that "something" on us. This is what I had to learn, and to be quite honest with you ~ I still practice saying, "No".
Life is a journey of teaching & learning ~ xo
Have you been told that "you are such a kind person", and felt great to have that acknowledgement come your way? It does feel good, and it should! You deserve that compliment, right?! Yes, you do! But then have you ever felt that same kind side of you being taken for granted or stepped on because you didn't know how to say NO to what was asked of you? Being left with a sinking feeling of "door-mat-it-is" is not the way God wants us to feel. I believe God wants all of us to feel proud of being filled with compassion, and kindness but not to be imbalanced by expecting a "condition" in return of extending it to another. That imbalance causes a shift in energy, and that shift creates space for conditional love. Let me explain.
Unconditional love: the highest form of energy, giving and receiving without stipulation, condition, or limitation. The eb and flow; the just exchange and balance in loving energy and motion. (self-defined)
When I gave to please people, no matter how much I truly loved them, I gave conditionally. I loved making people happy by obliging them, but often times I gave, gave, and gave to my exhaustion, inner struggle, or fear of disappointing people. (IMBALANCE) How was THAT loving myself? It was not. Pleasing them made me feel good but it was with condition, because I didn't realize I was actually seeking further validation of the same qualities I was being complimented on to begin with! My condition was not being perceived as selfish, needing to be needed, pleasing others before myself; all for acknowledgment of doing so. When I did not receive the TYPE of response, or acknowledgement I grew to EXPECT, I felt used, stepped on, taken for granted ~ You Name It!
HELLO, I'M NECOLE, AND I AM A PEOPLE PLEASER. Let everyone shout: "HI NECOLE"!
I did not want to say no for fear of hurting loved ones, a false sense of obligation, putting self-imposed limitations on myself, and a deep fear of freeing myself to actually RECEIVING Unconditional LOVE! That's right, freeing myself to receive the highest form of energy...unconditional love. Unconditional love requires feeling the depth of our emotions, and answering to our fears. Unconditional love expects us to balance between the sea of feelings that begin to stir within our Soul when we are faced with the fear of saying no.....especially to those that mean the most to us. That is our ego giving us that inner struggle of, "Should I say yes to make them happy, or should I say no to make myself happy"?
Through all of these lower level power struggles I was having with my Spiritual Being, and my Human Being side, I gained an understanding, and tremendous healing to move forward fearlessly and assertively!
I CHOSE ME!!!! YAAAYY!!! And guess what?? Most of the SAME beautiful loving Souls that were there during my people pleasing days, are still there. Some are not but ya know, relationships change and the most important one you can have (outside of Spirit) is with yourself! Love God, Love Self, and everything else WILL fall into place.
Now a-days, I assertively say, "No". And guess what?? WITHOUT EXPLANATION, MOST OF THE TIME!!!! I know, RIGHT!? Yes you can do the same thing! If you find yourself needing to explain WHY no is YOUR answer....oh Honey, let me share a VERY Precious POSITIVE AFFIRMATION that reminds me to embrace that beautiful word "No", everytime I'm confronted with that lower level energy ~ fear.
It takes 3 seconds. The same amount of time to take a deep breathe in, and exhale out between conversation. BREATHE. And while you are breathing The Law of Attraction and Unconditional Love to you, and into that situation you found yourself in, tell Your Mind, and Soul these few words of encouragement: "Speaking my truth is unconditional love. (and/or) Saying no when I feel "no" is healthy for me, and my relationships".
Daily Affirmation ( Mirror, Refrigerator, Car, Sticky Notes, Phone,...)
"I deserve to be free, feel free, and live my authentic self. Whether I choose to say "yes" or "no", I know it is my choice. I have free will, and I choose to be free, feel free, and live my authentic self. I love unconditionally, I AM loved unconditionally, I AM unconditional love.
Love,
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